Things That Would Ruin Tokyo Mew Mew
by TheOnlyMeThereIs
Summary: Pretty self-explanatory! Boredom is a terrible thing, so I've cured it... Well a minute of it! Basically just stuff that would really ruin Tokyo Mew Mew. Just a lighthearted fanfic of randomness! *WARNING* Some points may make you go -.- or O.o just thinking about them. or maybe even XD if you all find the ideas in this as random as I do... And rated T cos I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1-Kisshu

***This first chapter's about Kisshu, as he is obviously my favourite character, and I thought: ****_what better way to kick off this random fanfic than with Kisshu?_**

**_*_****So you're probably think wtf is this? Well I'm not so sure myself, but read it anyway eh?**

***Oh, and the first part of this story' is literally to create a loophole in the rules, so ignore it if you want;)**

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The otaku sat in her chair, her laptop balanced precariously on her knees, and wondered what to do. For once, she had no homework; no essays, artwork or translations to complete. She was not in the middle of an anime series, and was reluctant to start a new one due to the quickly decreasing number of internet minutes she had left on her dongle. So she just sat in her chair and thought. _Thought about what?_ You may be wondering. Well about Tokyo Mew Mew of course! Her thought track was a simple one: she thought about her favourite anime, and this led to her thinking about Kisshu, and then a strange thing happened to her thought process and this random idea appeared in her brain...

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**Tokyo Mew Mew would be ruined if Kisshu...**

***Died.** *shudder* I know it's harsh but yeah it would completely ruin it.

***Ran away with Mint and married her. ***double shudder.*

***Ate loads of Krispy Kreme doghnuts and got really fat. **Then he would lose his hotness (for me anyway.)

***Became a crack addict. **He might already be one actually, he is pretty twisted after all...

***Decided he couldn't be bothered to take over Earth, and thought: why don't the Cyniclons move to Venus instead?**

***Became addicted to gambling.**

***Had a serious accident and ended up with amnesia.**

***Had a serious accident and ended up being as innocent as a bunny rabbit.**

***Decided chasing Ichigo was too much hard work, and thought: why don't I chase Lettuce instead?**

***Bought a pet hamster and called it Ichigo.**

***Bought a pet hamster.**

***Went round sleeping with all of Tokyo. **Although...

***Had a career change and opened up a flower shop.**

***Decided taking over Tokyo was too much hard work, and thought: lets attack Glasgow first.** (For any Americans etc thats in Scotland.)

*******Killed Aoyama-kun.**Now while this would be a definate improvement, Ichigo would never forgive him for murdering her boyfriend, and would therefore never love him:'(

***Killed Ichigo. **He 'tried' many times, but really? If he'd have really wanted to, he could have ended her life as easily as snapping a toothpick!

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**Might add more to this later, but anyway, if you want more of these, for Kisshu or otherwise, you'll have to reviewwwwww:D**


	2. Chapter 2-Taruto

**Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, and Poppy the Rabbit, here's a chapter just for you:)**

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The otaku laughed, the list she had created in her random mind had made her chuckle, and while it was quite sad that she found herself amusing, the otaku didn't care! Hmmm she thought, now what if Taruto...

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**Tokyo Mew Mew would be ruined if Taruto...**

***Grew up. **As in he grew up too quickly, turning him into a teenager halfway throught the anime.

***Died. **I know he does at the end but that doesn't count because he comes back to life!

***Dyed his hair yellow.**

***Dyed his hair at all.**

***Painted his nails purple and green, wore red lipstick and ran around Tokyo singing "I'm just a sweet transvestite..."**

***Stole Kisshu's dragon swords and used them to carve his initials on Zakuro's bedroom wall.**

***Put a flour bag on top of the door just as Pai was about to walk in... ***giggles.*

***Found out Pudding was at work and thought: "I'll go play with the toddlers at the daycare centre."**

***Sellotaped his ears to his nose and pounced on Pudding yelling "I'm an ork!" ***screams*

***Flung himself through the door of the cafe screaming "Here's Johnny!"**

***Fell in love with a whale.**

***Became a naturalist and went to live on a nudist beach. **O.o

***Shaved off his hair and got tattoos and piercings done.**

***Shaved off Pudding's hair.**

***Learnt how to ride a mototbike, wore leathers, shaved his head, got tattoos and piercings done and rode around Tokyo blasting out heavy metal. ***shudder.*

***Developed a fetish for bananas.**

***Developed a fetish for seals.**

***Developed a fetish.**

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**Might add to it later, for now though, there you go:) and the next chapter won't be coming until you review and tell me who to do...**


	3. Chapter 3-Pai

***Thanks for the reviews guys:) And 'NightSkyWolves' This is a Pai chapter just for you:D**

***'Poppy the Rabbit,' I will do Pudding next:)**

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It had been a long day, and the knackered otaku kicked off her shoes and settled down into her favourite chair with her laptop. Today, she knew exactly what she was going to do, and immediately pulled up her all time favourite anime from the internet. However, merely a few minutes into the starting theme tune, she began to wonde what would really ruin it. This time, the otaku thought about Pai...

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**Tokyo Mew Mew would be ruined if Pai...**

***Forgot his trousers one day, and teleported into the cafe in his underwear. **Don't ask me why he would forget his trousers.

***Put mud on his face and twigs in his hair and swung on tree branches crying "AaaaaAaaaaAaaahhh"**

***Got a bullring piercing.**

***Got any sort of piercing. **Not cos I don't like piercings, cos Pai wouldn't suit one at all.

***Became a rock star touring America and left Kisshu and Taruto to attack the Earth by themselves.**

***Developed a worldwide nuclear bomb and set it off.**

***Had a costume change and started to wear mankinis every episode.**

***Played strip poker with Ryou.**

***Graffitied all of Tokyo saying "Da Cyniclonz iz da best brov" and "Pai woz ere" etc.**

***Painted his face like a tiger, fixed his ears so they pointed upwards and crawled around the park.**

***Fell out of a tree.**

***Became a beautician.**

***Went insane and thought he was a crocodile.**

***Went insane and started calling Deep Blue 'mummy.'**

***Developed an addiction to cereal and raided a supermarket, clearing the whole store of frosties and crunchy nut.**

***Developed an addiction to strip poker and blackmailed the whole cast into playing it with him.**

***Wrapped sellotape around his head several times to disfigure his face and flew around Tokyo singing Aqua's 'Halloween.'**

***Dressed up in a long black cloak and walked around Tokyo la-ing Darth Vader's theme tune. **La la la, la, lala, la, lala!

***Learnt how to play the saxophone and serenaded Deep Blue's resurection with some jazz music.**

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**This chapter isn't as good because I'm not a big Pai fan, but there you go:) Pudding's up next, but who should I do after that? Review and tell me...**


	4. Chapter 4-Pudding

**Okay, so this one's Pudding, then I'll do Ryou:D**

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Tick. Tock. The second hand of the analogue clock was really taking its time to complete each full cycle. There was just under half an hour left of the tedious lesson, and the nameless otaku was bored. In fact, bored is an understatement, but there aren't any other words for bored so bored it is. Ahem, sorry, anyway, she was bored. I think I've said bored too much now. Bored bored bored!

Sorry, but then just as she was about to pass out from boredom (another cheeky appearance!) she had a strange thought: what if Pudding totally ruined Tokyo Mew Mew?...

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**Tokyo Mew Mew would be ruined if Pudding...**

***Ditched the cute outfits and began to wear tacky emo clothes instead.**

***Pulled a prank on Taruto but accidentally sent him back to the nameless planet they come from.**

***Pulled a prank on Taruto but accidentally sent ****_herself_**** to the nameless planet they come from.**

***Shaved off all of Zakuro's hair.**

***Fed Taruto hair growing potion and caused him to have so much hair it was like a curtain around his body.**

***Left Tokyo Mew Mew and went to join Inuyasha.**

***Left Tokyo Mew Mew and went to become a monk. **(I suppose it would be a nun, but monk sounded better!)

***Was chasing Taruto down the street but ran into a lampost.**

***Banged her head after running into said lampost and immediately began acting like a turkey.**

***Actually turned into a turkey and got eaten by the other Mews. **(This one doesn't actually bear thinking about.)

***Became a tattoo artist.**

***Tattooed a skull on Ichigo's forehead.**

***Became a crazy Kisshu fangirl and left Taruto feeling pretty jealous.**

***Became a crazy Kisshu fangirl and waited until he was walking under a bridge then pounced on him.**

***Became a crazy Kisshu fangirl and killed Ichigo out of jealousy.**

***Turned into a rocker and danced around Tokyo screaming "Rock on Tommy!"**

***Turned into a rocker full stop.**

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**I might add to this list, it's a bit short, but I can't think of anything else at the minute! There you go 'Poppy the Rabbit,' this ones for you and Ryou's up next, so all you Ryou fans beware! Who shall I do after that? Reviewssssssss:D**


	5. Chapter 5-Shirogane

_The un-named otaku, tossed in her bed. The dream she was currently having was disturbing to say the least, and she could not wait for her REM sleep to be over! Said dream was based around one of Tokyo Mew Mew's most important, hot, underestimated, and yet incredibly hated characters. No prizes for guessing: Ryou Shirogane._

_In the dream, the otaku was seeing life through Shirogane's eyes, but the blonde hotty was having such a bad day, if her dream came true, the entire series of Tokyo Mew Mew could possibly be ruined..._

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**Here are the main actions of Shirogane in the otaku's dream...**

***He woke up, climbed out of bed, slipped on a slimy sock and went flying. (**Good start to the day Ryou my man.)

***He picked himself up, took a deep breath, lifted another foot and slipped on a banana skin. (**Ouran HSHC's out to get him...)

***He kicked the banana skin in frustration, and decided to crawl to the shower, only to kneel on an upturned plug and scream in pain.**

***Keiichiro ran upstairs, wondering what the noise was, kicked open the door, and then discovered that Ryou did not wear pyjamas to bed...**

***Managing to finally get to the shower, Ryou stood up and got inside. Then fell over the plug.**

***Ten minutes later, Ichigo ran upstairs to ask Ryou about her gymnastics problem. She opened the door and screamed.**

***Shirogane hastily put a cover on his stick and wiped the mess off his face.**

***Ichigo wandered dizzily downstairs, trying to erase all memory of Shirogane wearing lipstick. **(Yes, he was trying on lipstick...)

***He kicked himself for forgetting to lock his door and tried to walk it off on his way down the stairs, hoping Ichigo would keep quiet.**

***Then he fell down the stairs.**

***Keiichiro started to laugh, but stopped when Ryou stood up with an angry expression on his face.**

***Then promptly started again when Ryou slipped on a banana peel.**

_**Random Time Skip Cos I Can...**_

***"Right let's pack up gang!" **Shirogane is in a better mood since nothing else has gone wrong all afternoon!

****giggle* *chortle* *wink*.**

***"What? What's so funny?" **Ah, I forgot to mention that nothing has gone wrong only because Shirogane refused to move from his chair all day.

****giggle* *snort*. **Ryou is getting annoyed now.

***"WHAT AREN'T YOU TELLING ME?!"**

***He stands up in anger, then hastily sits down again.**

***"Very funny..." **any guesses?

***Shirogane tries to stand once more, but finds he is still stuck to the chair, which stands with him.**

***You see, the Mews had stuck him to the chair woth super glue, and his prolonged sitting there has only reinforced the strength of the adhesive...**

***"Now we'll grant your wish Shirogane-san!" Lettuce beams at him.**

***"What wish?!" Ryou stresses.**

***"Your desire to look like a girl of course!" Lettuce grins and Zakuro whips out her make-up bag from behind her back.**

_**Another Time Skip Here...**_

***Now imagine Shirogane stuck to a chair with superglue covered in make up with a pink glittery rose in his hair... Needless to say the dream was a disturbing one...**

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**Wasn't sure about the different layout, but I guess I ran out of ideas list-style. If you prefer the lists tell me in the review you are about to write:D and sorry this was a while in coming:)**


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